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Aeonstars

Age/Gender: 18, Male
Location: Montreal, Canada.
Job: Student

If you're reading this, chances are you're me.

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6/1/06

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Entry #28

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Aeonstars

Writing a TV Pilot based on my flash series!

Posted by Aeonstars Jan. 13, 2008 @ 8:24 PM EST

Hey everyone. I'm writing a 22 minute version of episode 1. Well the first draft is finished and some pretty big changes are necessary. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Some stuff definitely works whereas other things, I don't know, don't seem to satisfy. Maybe I'm crazy anyway...it's based on Capture The Flag. My newgrounds series. Go check it out if you haven't! I made some pretty big changes to make it fit a 20 minute block though. Currently, the script is 19 pages long but I feel that's definitely as lengthy as I should make it. So anyway, I'll give you guys a taste of what it's about and I'd love any feedback (of course I'm gonna get a little flamed) on the content.

- Evan comes to camp TF, meets a weird kid named Mark.
- We find out a where Evan was three months ago. A completely different setting.
- Evan is having a hard time finding a buddy and Mark suggests asking a big kid.
- The big kids basically crucify Evan.
- We find out what Evan was involved in three months ago. A serious game of Capture The Flag.
- A mysterious man scares the kids who crucified Evan away.
- Evan's friends from the past abandon him. He's expelled from school.
- Evan meets Amy.
- Three other boys spy on Evan.

end of episode 1. Now I hope you didn't read that if you were unfamiliar with the series. So what do you guys think? Does this sound like something little kids would be interested in?

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The People Have Spoken

50 Comments

Jan. 13, 2008 | 8:30 PM Dazmi says:

maybe little kids, sure!

Jan. 13, 2008 | 8:34 PM Aeonstars responds:

nice! that's the age range I'm going for.


Jan. 13, 2008 | 8:40 PM lenkobiscuit says:

Good luck. 20 minutes is gonna be some hard work haha.You considering pitching it to a network?

Jan. 13, 2008 | 8:57 PM Aeonstars responds:

I've spoken to a woman from YTV. She told me she'd read it. YTV is a kids network here in canada.


Jan. 13, 2008 | 8:47 PM Coolio-Niato says:

sounds pretty cool. as lenkobiscuit said, try to pitch the cartoon idea to fox or smthn, a highly intensive paintball series. It would certainly get kids to go out and play capture the flag rather than stay at home and play with their stupid digi/poke/yugioh cards.


Jan. 13, 2008 | 9:13 PM Goat-Man says:

Sounds pretty cool. Do you think you can make/write anough episodes for this if a network such as YTV does pick it up for a season or more?

You said your 9 minute episode took 4 months. I suppose if it was picked up you'd have a team to work on it with you.

Good luck. I would love to see something that started on Newgrounds become a series. We've already seen Alien Hominid become a succesful game. So it's very possible

Jan. 13, 2008 | 9:27 PM Aeonstars responds:

I know I can. And if, in a dream world, I got people working on this, I don't think the creative well would dry up. It might freeze in place though so I better put a lid on it.


Jan. 13, 2008 | 9:50 PM WolfBlitz2 says:

holy hell!
you Canadians are crazy
you going to place it on NG whens it's done?
I wanna see a picture of granfather!
Is the mysterious man a former SAS soldier? :P


Jan. 13, 2008 | 10:49 PM peterf1 says:

Cool, just keep the amazing writing and you'll be fine. I'd probably infiltrate their headquarters just to get to see the movie. Since you're putting the series on newgrounds without the oversight of the corporate overlords, just slower, I'm fine if you don't put the pilot, or any of the (hopefully) future episodes on newgrounds.

Jan. 13, 2008 | 11:07 PM Aeonstars responds:

thank you so much for saying the writing is amazing. The thing I'm worried about though is if it will be good compared to other children's shows or if it's on the level of children's shows.


Jan. 13, 2008 | 11:31 PM Cicca says:

I think it's a really good idea!!!!! Have you seen the crap they have on ytv?! If they have half a brain they would definitly accept this!!


Jan. 13, 2008 | 11:38 PM MysticShinHanKu says:

Are we still voicing it? Cause that'd be cool :) haha Good luck on this, definitely go for it, dude. Even if they don't take it, you'll never know until you try. Break a leg! This sounds like an opportunity of a lifetime! How did you manage to get the YTV lady to say she'd take a look? I mean, did she just take your word for it or what?

Jan. 13, 2008 | 11:42 PM Aeonstars responds:

I spoke to her on the phone and she says they review new scripts every 2 weeks or so. I asked her if she would read it and she said yes so...I guess she will lol. In a dream world, if they accepted it and let me have some kind of say in the production of it, I'd get you guys to get an audition for sure :). Especially the VAs who want to voice act professionally.

Updated: Jan. 13, 2008, 11:43 PM

Jan. 14, 2008 | 4:10 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

Is it a former SAS soldier?

Jan. 14, 2008 | 3:21 PM Aeonstars responds:

what is an SAS soldier?


Jan. 14, 2008 | 5:03 AM thescreamingsheep says:

If you love your awesome voice actors (Did I mention that they're awesome?) you will tell Ms. YTV face to send over the VA's. ^____^

Jan. 14, 2008 | 3:21 PM Aeonstars responds:

Perhaps I could bring you guys in a suitcase? What do ya say? :P.


Jan. 14, 2008 | 10:53 AM RWA says:

That's hot man. Will you be animating it if it passes?

Jan. 14, 2008 | 3:20 PM Aeonstars responds:

I don't think I have any power over that.


Jan. 14, 2008 | 10:59 AM mystic8ball says:

I have some mixed feelings about this , Either way I'm sure that this will only do good things for you.

Well good luck.

And don't forget us here at Newgrounds ;_;


Jan. 14, 2008 | 12:22 PM nelly12345 says:

what's weird is I was thinking of this
exact thing when I watched it a week ago

does it mean there won't be a episode 3?

Jan. 14, 2008 | 3:20 PM Aeonstars responds:

There will definitely be an ep 3 here on NG and an ep 4


Jan. 14, 2008 | 12:23 PM nelly12345 says:

what age range?


Jan. 14, 2008 | 12:45 PM nelly12345 says:

I mean like
3-7
7-10
10-12

Jan. 14, 2008 | 3:22 PM Aeonstars responds:

Well I'm writing the material so it is appropriate for all audiences but the anime watching kids mostly.


Jan. 14, 2008 | 3:29 PM KwikToon says:

So which network asked you to do this?

Jan. 14, 2008 | 3:57 PM Aeonstars responds:

I called them and asked them. I know. Im thinking big.


Jan. 14, 2008 | 4:18 PM nelly12345 says:

so like a naruto watching audience?

Jan. 14, 2008 | 4:45 PM Aeonstars responds:

basically. meaning I have to apply the same conventions but my type of humor is very different from anime shows. I know for a fact that kids like it though.


Jan. 14, 2008 | 6:02 PM nelly12345 says:

so will that mean the drawing style will
change to fit an anime themed audience?

Things like suddenly getting giant heads when they are angry
etc

Jan. 14, 2008 | 6:11 PM Aeonstars responds:

That's not the tone of the story. More like lost for kids.


Jan. 14, 2008 | 8:39 PM WolfBlitz2 says:

SAS is the Special Air Service
Top class soldiers that do mostly behind enemy line missions
Special forces they are also known as.
The SAS originated from UK but then was used in Australia and New Zealand
One thing that is annoying about SAS soldiers is when they have their picture on tellie on in the newspaper their faces have to be blured for security reasons unless they retired.
here are some links
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_
Air_Service

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australi an_Special_Air_Service_Regiment
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_
Air_Service_of_New_Zealand

I wouldn't want to be fighting against them that's for sure


Jan. 14, 2008 | 9:46 PM kizza0 says:

So we wont be collaborating?
Cause iw as really hoping we could work together.

Jan. 14, 2008 | 10:02 PM Aeonstars responds:

nono, dont get me wrong! CTF will be continuing here on NG :)


Jan. 14, 2008 | 11:43 PM kizza0 says:

Ok, Just let me know when you get the next episode started or wateva.


Jan. 15, 2008 | 3:34 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

is it a former SAS soldier?

Jan. 15, 2008 | 3:50 AM Aeonstars responds:

no lol


Jan. 15, 2008 | 2:15 PM nelly12345 says:

I see what you mean
I mean avatar on nick
is very popular and
the central reason for this
is the way it looks like an
anime show
so If you could tap into that sort of audience
It will work out very successfully

but I think you should still keep your clues to what's going on in the background thing that you do, as it's one of the things that gives the series it's hook
(to me anyway)

and try to baby it as little as possible, one of the reasons spongebob is so successful is because it sometimes still includes some jokes aimed at adults
which breaks it somewhat from the mould.
Who knows you may even get more than the audience you directed to,
(like avatar did)

but apart from that.

from what I read it sounds very interesting
I mean I would be interested in seeing it
It introduces more characters
and a nice sounding backstory on Evan
and it would be great to see
a remake/expanded
version of the first episode
I really hope this gets picked up
and shown oversea's where I am


Jan. 16, 2008 | 1:14 AM MysticShinHanKu says:

Spongebob is hilarious. I love that show, actually. Tom Kenny is a genius. Though some of the newer ones aren't as funny :/ But some of those episodes are omg classic... haha. I have lol'd on many 'a times because of spongebob


Jan. 16, 2008 | 4:09 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

you what be good if you had a time flash of his grandfather when he was at camp TF

just little short bits of his first day and such and such

in short
I like marshmallows


Jan. 18, 2008 | 6:29 PM Tyman121 says:

i think the show will be great but the storyline might be a little too deep for littler kids who may watch the show(if it makes it)

i hope it does make it because it is a great show


Jan. 18, 2008 | 6:50 PM puddinN64 says:

SO is this gonna be on national television or what?

Jan. 18, 2008 | 7:15 PM Aeonstars responds:

probably not. I know it would be just as well received on tv as it is here though!

Updated: Jan. 18, 2008, 7:15 PM

Jan. 19, 2008 | 12:29 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

have them around a campfire with the counsellors singing and one of them playing guitar or banjo


Jan. 19, 2008 | 1:01 PM nelly12345 says:

so if it works out
how long do you plan on making it?


Jan. 19, 2008 | 1:17 PM Jaggged says:

This sounds like a really good idea, and the event sequence is sound for a pilot. I don't really know how an anime watching kid audience would react to this though. True, there heave been successful shows like avatar and stuff that manage to win kids over even with a serious tone, but nowadays kids aren't that bright, I don't know if they'd understand alot of the subtle nuances you're serious has. But then again I'm thinking of kids in America being an American, their Canadian counterparts are probably alot less stupid XD. Regardless, if this does happen, make sure it gets on you tube for us who can't get canadian tv :)


Jan. 19, 2008 | 1:36 PM nelly12345 says:

I doubt he will put it on you tube seriously he get no payment
maybe like a trailer


Jan. 20, 2008 | 4:31 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

you tube has a maximum of 16 minutes per vid
it would be cutting off 4 minutes of the whole show


Jan. 20, 2008 | 7:19 AM nelly12345 says:

by the way I forgot to mention
AEONSTAR IS GOD!!!!!!!!!!!
http://i28.tinypic.com/wlx16f.jpg

Jan. 20, 2008 | 12:56 PM Aeonstars responds:

oh my god nelly. lmao. i'll send you a postcard.


Jan. 20, 2008 | 2:41 PM Kain-Ceverus says:

I think it'll do just fine.

Jan. 20, 2008 | 3:04 PM Aeonstars responds:

That'll do, Kain-Ceverus. That'll do.


Jan. 21, 2008 | 12:22 PM nelly12345 says:

I'll send you two postcards hahaha
=D


Jan. 22, 2008 | 3:40 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

will CTF go longer than Madness? :P

Jan. 22, 2008 | 4:24 PM Aeonstars responds:

lo i don't think so


Jan. 22, 2008 | 11:21 PM WolfBlitz2 says:

hey
nice primary picture
it is well positioned
though his head seems a little stretched
I want to see a picture of what grandfather looks like
from how grandfather voice sounds he may be upperclass retired that knows how to go bush
if not
WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE!?

Jan. 22, 2008 | 11:34 PM Aeonstars responds:

I will never tell you! Hey Wolfblitz2, whatever happened to Wolfblitz1?


Jan. 22, 2008 | 11:52 PM WolfBlitz2 says:

what?
not going to be longer than madness!?
are you mad!?
if you are going to make a tv pilot it'll have to have a fair few episodes in the series
this is going off the subject
if your cartoon series is a big sucess will you have action figures?
that would be cool
or is advertisement stuff of cartoons for the greedy and stupid that want more money than they already have and need?

Jan. 22, 2008 | 11:56 PM Aeonstars responds:

I'm probably going to get my own country. You're jumping way too ahead of yourself but maybe it's my fault. I'm still waiting to hear back from them and chances are nothing's happening.


Jan. 23, 2008 | 6:02 PM nelly12345 says:

by the way are you still a big fan of legendary frog?

Jan. 24, 2008 | 7:11 PM Aeonstars responds:

I loved his flashes when I was younger. He's what attracted me to Newgrounds and Final Fantasy Tribute will always remain my favourite flash despite there being many many better ones.

Updated: Jan. 24, 2008, 7:12 PM

Jan. 24, 2008 | 1:11 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

I actually want to sign up as WolfBlitz but someone already took the name so chose WolfBlitz2 (To my surprise the user is in the same area as I am, funny eh?).
WolfBlitz1 didn't have a nice sound to it, just recently i found out there is a WolfBlitz1 account which is interesting that I never thought of checking it out.
I'll go ask WolfBlitz1 what is he up to.
When I was thinking about what would you do I think it is interesting what people would do if they had something
like saying what would you do if you had a thousand dollars or what would you do if you had several thousand teams of special forces troops?
something like that
get your own country eh, what would you name it? Canada? XD
in other news
I think nelly12345 likes your work (just to point out the obvious) :P

Jan. 24, 2008 | 7:14 PM Aeonstars responds:

Yeah you should listen to what DS says, that sounds like pretty good advice. If I had several thousand troops, I could only assume that so did my enemies. We'd let our troops battle it out as we sipped sangria and tanned n the sunny beaches of Aeonstarsopia.


Jan. 24, 2008 | 4:48 PM DarkSoldier says:

hey WolfBlitz2, WolfBlitz was made in 03 and hasn't been used at all. I'm sure if you pmed wadefulp he'd change the name for you. He did it for me so why not you?

Jan. 24, 2008 | 7:14 PM Aeonstars responds:

Cool. Good advice. Thaks DS!


Jan. 24, 2008 | 7:10 PM Aeonstars responds:

Nelly, thank you so much :). This means a lot. You're such an awesome fan!!! This weekend I'm going to write up CTF3 and get a head start on that! Also I think I'm going to write another funny flash and see if anyone on Newgrounds is willing to make it.

Updated: Jan. 24, 2008, 7:15 PM

Jan. 25, 2008 | 1:05 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

nah I think WolfBlitz2 will do me fine and dandy
I reckon you should get nelly12345 to do the collab man
From my viewpoint he has proved that he is worthy for the work


Jan. 25, 2008 | 1:06 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

PEOPLE!
All in favour to have nelly12345 do the collab with Aeonstars say "AYE!"


Jan. 25, 2008 | 6:12 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

this just in
I haven't recieved a PM from WolfBlitz1
so i am guessing he is dead


Jan. 25, 2008 | 12:17 PM Aeonstars responds:

nelly, you're SO COOL. ><


Jan. 28, 2008 | 4:35 PM nelly12345 says:

do you like this picture I was trying to do it in the style of capture the flag actually
http://nelly1234.deviantart.com/art/g reg-rough-style-75592841

Jan. 28, 2008 | 4:53 PM Aeonstars responds:

yeah it seems like it could out really cool. I'm interested who this greg guy is! What program do you use to draw on?


Jan. 28, 2008 | 5:05 PM nelly12345 says:

I used inkscape It's a free
vector based art program
I just cant afford flash

greg hmm haven't really thought that much about his character
he's sort of a goof I would say


Jan. 29, 2008 | 4:11 AM WolfBlitz2 says:

let nelly do the collab!


Jan. 31, 2008 | 3:23 PM nelly12345 says:

What is the comedy flash about?

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